The Joy Is Not Optional
Importance: 4 | # | aella
I grew up under a strict childrearing program called Growing Kids Godās Way, created by Gary Ezzo. It was popular in the 90ās, and had a series of books that kept getting released with tamer and tamer editions as people kept getting mad about it. My parents had one of the earliest ones.
In GKGW, childrearing was about parent-centered parenting, not child-centered parenting. Children are new guests to an established home, and should be expected to adjust without disruption to the house.
I internalized all of this. I believed I was a sinner who was determined to rebel against God by continually violating the rule of my parents. Sure - I experienced anger, but I also thought that was in itself a flaw. I prayed to God to give me gratitude for the punishments. I tried really, really hard. I would lie in bed doing āemotion controlā, where I would practice summoning and banishing different emotions at will. Iād think now, happy, and meditate until I was happy. Then Iād practice banishing it rapidly, returning to a neutral state in as few seconds as possible. I wanted it to be instantaneous. I wanted to be in control of my feelings. So many of my feelings were wrong to have. It was so difficult to appreciate the loving correction of my parents.